Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
