During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
