Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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