I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
