I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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