As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
