420 ftw
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
