He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
