What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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