When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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