I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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