nut hugger
I accidentally had phone sex last night
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
