ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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