took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
