I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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