That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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