He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
