ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

  Fav 19 6381 2061

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?

  Fav 31 1164 5737

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (937): View more from Ohio

  he is so annoying

  (513): View more from Ohio

  so stop sleeping with him

  (937): View more from Ohio

  yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk

  Fav 25 5448 1526

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

  Fav 7 5502 1361

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.

  Fav 7 1348 4016

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

  Fav 16 2179 1636

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

  Fav 5 718 1409

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Eh. They balance each other out

  Fav 6 1235 714

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.

  Fav 11 1391 766

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (845): View more from New York

  I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

  Fav 8 1019 661

  share tweet
  

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Coming.

  Fav 8 1619 675

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (641): View more from Iowa

  Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.

  Fav 12 1758 712

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often

  Fav 2 895 506

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup

  Fav 0 620 362

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.

  Fav 0 18 17

  share tweet
  

Randomize