no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
