Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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