Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song

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  (253): To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song http://tfl.nu/rtr4
  Replies (17) Good night (2645) Bad night (876)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome

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  (740): My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome http://tfl.nu/ktp3
  Replies (27) Good night (3627) Bad night (1181)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life

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  (617): Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life http://tfl.nu/020c
  Replies (11) Good night (1209) Bad night (4403)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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  (214): New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma! http://tfl.nu/1dky
  Replies (67) Good night (1309) Bad night (4340)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

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  (330): I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break http://tfl.nu/u8kr
  Replies (38) Good night (9282) Bad night (1295)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.

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  (804): My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her. http://tfl.nu/xqm6
  Replies (7) Good night (5092) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

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  (716): IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again. http://tfl.nu/cfdh
  Replies (7) Good night (2249) Bad night (966)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.

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  (713): onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper. http://tfl.nu/3zpi
  Replies (10) Good night (1544) Bad night (720)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.

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  (314): You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head. http://tfl.nu/as38
  Replies (29) Good night (2160) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.

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  (803): My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband. http://tfl.nu/w0zf
  Replies (5) Good night (2128) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?

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  (770): Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier? http://tfl.nu/rucv
  Replies (9) Good night (1845) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

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  (715): On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good. http://tfl.nu/74vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1414) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Like it was yesterday.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...

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  (254): Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears? (517): Like it was yesterday. (254): Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery... http://tfl.nu/058m
  Replies (5) Good night (1253) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

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  (978): I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite. http://tfl.nu/sc9k
  Replies (1) Good night (987) Bad night (357)
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  (909): View more from California

  I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

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  (909): I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day. http://tfl.nu/6mst
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (289)

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