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pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
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