I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
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Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.