Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason

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(831): 'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason http://tfl.nu/vr72

Replies (15) Good night (2123) Bad night (471)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?

(615): View more from Tennessee

New experience?

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(931): woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low? (615): New experience? http://tfl.nu/83n1

Replies (9) Good night (2787) Bad night (610)
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(586): View more from Michigan

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

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(586): i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning http://tfl.nu/zcz6

Replies (33) Good night (3013) Bad night (699)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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(973): all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist. http://tfl.nu/t7vc

Replies (27) Good night (5439) Bad night (1033)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.

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(319): I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/bot7

Replies (9) Good night (3232) Bad night (549)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

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(865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010. http://tfl.nu/w6c7

Replies (11) Good night (5925) Bad night (639)
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(210): View more from Texas

I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

(1-210): View more from Texas

I love milkshakes.

(210): View more from Texas

Not the point.

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(210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t

Replies (19) Good night (5233) Bad night (1363)
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(574): View more from Indiana

So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore

(209): View more from California

You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?

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(574): So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore (209): You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect? http://tfl.nu/4y0y

Replies (20) Good night (1156) Bad night (3936)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me

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(970): Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me http://tfl.nu/64e5

Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (794)
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(254): View more from Texas

I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.

(254): View more from Texas

He's majoring in Religion

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(254): I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka. (254): He's majoring in Religion http://tfl.nu/gx54

Replies (9) Good night (2440) Bad night (569)
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(559): View more from California

Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.

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(559): Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on. http://tfl.nu/nei9

Replies (7) Good night (969) Bad night (1502)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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(724): She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail. http://tfl.nu/o810

Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (2672)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

he's gonorrhea incarnate

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(201): he's gonorrhea incarnate http://tfl.nu/krir

Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (1303)
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(845): View more from New York

The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.

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(845): The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction. http://tfl.nu/75bn

Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (312)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.

(1-320): View more from Minnesota

The apocalypse has arrived.

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(320): For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment. (1-320): The apocalypse has arrived. http://tfl.nu/kypn

Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (251)

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