someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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