sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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