Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

  (1-626): View more from California

  You have mice?

  (626): View more from California

  no why?

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  (626): What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans? (1-626): You have mice? (626): no why? http://tfl.nu/7zgo
  Replies (15) Good night (3716) Bad night (870)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month

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  (843): I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month http://tfl.nu/ssqy
  Replies (8) Good night (2640) Bad night (547)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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  (919): My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq. http://tfl.nu/vzq9
  Replies (6) Good night (3616) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day

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  (847): I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day http://tfl.nu/i0qa
  Replies (20) Good night (1734) Bad night (5772)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.

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  (217): he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit. http://tfl.nu/3nc6
  Replies (17) Good night (4587) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

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  (508): the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell. http://tfl.nu/o2wo
  Replies (12) Good night (797) Bad night (5977)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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  (907): I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar. http://tfl.nu/wjyf
  Replies (8) Good night (3565) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.

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  (602): UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle. http://tfl.nu/69ov
  Replies (7) Good night (1744) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine

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  (507): we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine http://tfl.nu/vvgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2292) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina

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  (770): i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina http://tfl.nu/n7ey
  Replies (5) Good night (645) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.

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  (605): If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again. http://tfl.nu/3u7r
  Replies (4) Good night (1952) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Pics or STFU

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  (617): Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward. (1-617): Pics or STFU http://tfl.nu/b1yq
  Replies (5) Good night (999) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs

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  (779): I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs http://tfl.nu/n819
  Replies (8) Good night (2164) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.

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  (954): All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me. http://tfl.nu/3tzi
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal

  (425): View more from Washington

  Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.

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  (425): Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal (425): Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens. http://tfl.nu/rxfs
  Replies (0) Good night (562) Bad night (224)

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