she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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