dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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