I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
