What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize