What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
