Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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