the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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