I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
