so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Duck Duck Cougar?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
