Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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