bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
