Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
