I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
