but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
