ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
