i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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