Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
