We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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