he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
