Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
This house was built for laser tag.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
