Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
