Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize