Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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