you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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