I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
