Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
no, he came in my armpit
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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