it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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