ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
