gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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