im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
