She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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