please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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