I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize