You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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