when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
