Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
