I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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