Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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