I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
