Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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