I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
