Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
