hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
