nut hugger
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
